Never make any eye contact while eating banana
Teacher: DO YOU WAN'T TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!!!!
Student: Are you asking me out?
What you call dogs with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come
The moment when you panic when someone says, 'I need to talk to you.'
34-year-old guy: I made a friend
His mom: Real or imaginary
34-year-old guy: Imaginary
Thumbs up if you hate when you're taking a shit and the toilet water bounces up your ass -___- lol :D
Admit it, you still use use your hands to tell which way is left and which is right
When you're out with your friends, and you spot a cute guy, at first you're just staring him, then you wait for a second, and you start looking at each other, and you laugh and said, 'he's mine'
Teacher: Can you explain how you get the answer?
Me: Because I'm clever!
Sorry, that's not correct
The correct answer is: -3294 + -943278, 726992 x 765180 / 76108832
Your answer: Fuck you, I don't know
Question : How can I be the life of a party?
Me : Have the party at your local cemetery
CLOSE ENOUGH!