I can't figure out my own life

I want to be loved, but when I'm being loved, I guess I freaked out. I freaked out and run away. Aku selalu macam tu. Selalu sangat. This is not the first time I feel this kind of way. I feel like a jerk. Maybe I am a jerk. Entah. I just can't love him. I don't know why it's pretty easy with my all my exs. Maybe I am being selfish. I am the 'bad guy'. And now I'm stuck with another guy. It's just been three freaking days. And I started feeling all stuffy, airless. How should I say to him? Maybe he took it very fast. That's why I'm being all stuffy. I can't blame him. If I like him too, I should feel happy. I'm just LOST.