This idealistic

I can't keep on hoping, I just can't... I don't want to be in that position again where I'm left with nothing but disappointment and heart-broken. I'm just so stupid to think that he might have the same feelings for me like I do for him, and the truth is, he only thinks that I'm his friend where I found him a lot freaking more than that. It just hurts to crave for someone so badly even though  you know you can't have. And now we're back to the idealistic of hoping; I once thought that this idealistic will bring something good to me, actually, it did bring some goods, but that's just temporary, I guess.