10th of October

10th of October.

Just when I thought I was about to take a good glance of sunshine in a gloomy day, it started to rain. Not a heavy rain, just a drizzly one. I realized that I didn't have my umbrella with me. Someone took it from me. My favourite umbrella. The one that I had been using for all this while.

It wasn't raining anymore but it was clearly still a cloudy day. I kept on moving, while trying to smile. At least I tried to fake it. It looked almost as if I'm smiling, with real smile. Good enough. To wear a decent white clothes, checked! To fake a smile, checked! To keep on moving, blank. To actually be happy, blank.

Walked and kept walking. Past the crossroads, past the fly-overs. Alone. No one stood behind me, nor in front of me. My aim, to walk to the horizon. I was nearly 100% sure that it would be nice there. That I would actually be happy and tick the two blanks on my checklist.

But it's still cloudy. I'm still a psycho, I don't have any umbrella left. It's near impossible