Acting like it's not killing me

Why do I still remain this idiotic ideology that he still (or might) have feelings for me when it's all over between us (or for me it has)? Yes, for me it has ended as soon as his bestfriend told me to move on. I think his bestfriend knows best. Eh wait lily, wait. I don't think I have move on to be exact. I let him go, I didn't forget about him. I stop caring, I didn't stop loving. Because showing him that I love him kills me everyday. So I took a step back and let him find his own happiness. According to what I wrote, I didn't stop loving him, instead I act. I act like I'm done with him. I act like I literally stop loving him. And for a second there, I really thought that I actually stop loving him. Then came the part where I missed him so much that I realize I'll never get over him. Every time I get a text from him, a mention from him, or even a small retweet, my heart just pound like it's going to burst. Ergh my life, it suck!